i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize