Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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