Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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