I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
