it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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