Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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