I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
