Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
When did angry sex become our thing?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
