idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
