my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
