Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
