It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
