You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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