Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
