just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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