Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
