i just google imaged poop.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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