So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize