You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
