I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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