she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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