The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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