I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
