He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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