Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
