Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
