Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
