I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
