What a fucking waste of an outfit
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize