Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
