What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
