remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
