Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just cropdusted the office
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
