people are starting to question the shark bite story
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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