Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
