tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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