i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize