Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Randomize