I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
