Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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