no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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