yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
