I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
