They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
