I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
