their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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