I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
