We won't sleep together?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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