I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
