Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
