if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
