well you can't waste a boner
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
