Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
