I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
