The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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