if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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