I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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