I want to make a zoo with you.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize