i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize
