I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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