Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
