Kiss
Puke
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
